The following information pertains to women only and to those who are partners to women with a passive anger style. Although there are certainly men who operate primarily out of a passive anger style, women most often have difficulty acknowledging and expressing their anger. Various reasons are presented for the repression of anger in women, including
1. The fear that the expression of anger will cause retaliation
2. The fear that expressing anger will deny the nurturing aspect of women’s socialization or drive away the love and closeness women seek
3. The need for change that is signaled when something is wrong
4. The need to be seen as the good woman or the nice lady as opposed to being perceived as unfeminine or the bitch.
While there is considerable disagreement as to whether women’s difficulty in acknowledging and expressing anger is caused by gender differences or status and power discrepancies, it is likely a combination of the two. For example, some contend that our society permits women the expression of anger in defense of those more vulnerable than themselves (such as their children) but discourages them from expressing anger on their own behalf (probably rooted in the belief that women’s power unleashed is considered devastating). It is clear that females have been trained to contain their anger at violation, fearing retaliation of those more powerful. Researchers such as Belenky and Gilligan have found that relatedness is primary for women. With this in mind, it becomes clear why a woman will go to any lengths, including the altering of herself, in order to establish and maintain intimate ties.